In my absence from this blog…

A LOT has happened;  both GREAT and bad (not really bad…that’s a bit dramatic, but just a bit disappointing in some ways.)  The events that happened are not really good reasons to not keep up with something that I told myself I wouldn’t slack on, but it does explain why I haven’t written in awhile.

The week after my last post, I got really sick for the first time since moving out here.  I had just finished my first full weekend of working early mornings at Starbucks and evenings at Olive Garden as a hostess.  I didn’t realize the lack of sleep that would come along with that kind of schedule and how my eating and workout schedule would also be affected. I have always been in the mindset that I could handle that kind of work week because I am accustomed to pushing myself even during the times I should take a  break.  I did that often in college when I was spread thin between a full load of classes, being involved with extracurricular activities, and still wanting to spend tons of time with all of my friends.  Recently, after I went to the doctor and took a day of rest, I learned quite quickly that getting sick can no longer be an option.  To make rent, I have to work. If i get sick and have to miss days of work…that is just too horrifying of a situation to mention!  It showed me that my body was telling me to listen to it when it’s starting to feel worn down.  I need to go to bed earlier so work is not so difficult to get through.  I need to forget the fact that I commonly have FOMO (the fear of missing out) when I know my friends are doing fun activities around the city and just turn off the lights to go to bed! I now try to plan my meals earlier in the week when I have a shorter work day, so I am prepared for the rest of the week.  I also schedule times to work out and stick to them as a promise to myself. I also do my best to pay attention when I am feeling exhausted and give myself a break when I need to.  This past Saturday (6/14) I let someone cover my shift at Olive Garden when they needed to pick up a shift because I knew that I was starting to reach my breaking point emotionally and physically.  Instead, I finally went grocery shopping, organized my room, made a big batch of chili in my crockpot to have the rest of the week, and went to bed fairly early.  Now, I feel well rested and prepared…and consequently I also have time to type up this post! 

I felt much better the following week in which I did two exciting things that proved to myself that I can go outside my comfort zone.  I auditioned for a play, Damn Yankees, and interviewed for an awesome job.  The Tuesday of that week I drove out to Anaheim and practiced my audition piece over and over on the way there.  I hadn’t done anything like this since the year before when I tried out for a Hurrah Player’s production in Norfolk, VA.  Although I moved to CA to do production work, I have also always loved performing.  I have been told that I have a pretty good singing voice and I love to dance.  As I was sitting in the waiting room to go in front of the judges, I was feeling very nervous but also surprisingly proud of myself.  I realized that whether or not I got a part (which I ended up not getting), I was glad that I had that experience.  I really want to do more acting.  I loved the beginning acting class I took in college and the play I was in during my senior year of high school. By doing this audition, I showed myself that I could put myself out there and accept the chance of being rejected without letting the nerves beat me and persuade me to not try out at all. 

The interview was that Thursday for an office PA position.  I had to work at Starbucks in the morning and then rush home, throw on a dress, some make up, and style my hair to be presentable.  I got to the location with about ten minutes to spare.  I sat for only a few minutes in the foyer before one of the heads of production greeted me and took me to the office.  As I answered questions and heard more about the job, the more I really, really wanted it.  It would have been full time, paying the normal average for PA positions (which is WAAAAAY more than I am currently make working 2 jobs), and was potentially the first step towards other great opportunities. I would have also been close to Heidi and in the middle of Hollywood which would have been an exciting place to be everyday.  As soon as I got out of the interview, I started completely over thinking all of my answers.  I felt an intense need to write them a thank you email immediately to ensure they  knew I wanted the job.  Friday came and I hoped to hear back, but it was the start of a holiday weekend so no word was sent.  Finally Tuesday of the following week arrived and I anxiously checked my email and phone constantly from the moment I woke up.  Brian and I saw the movie, Chef (great movie! I recommend seeing it!), and after we got home is when I got the email.  My heart jumped when I saw the subject line, and immediately fell when I read the message.  They thanked me but had decided to go with another candidate.  I cried for awhile and started questioning all the decisions I had made to move out to Los Angeles.  I was really frustrated!!!! Now, I see that it was something (like everything really in life) to learn and move forward from.  At least I got the interview.  It meant that at least someone had noticed my skill set and wanted to meet me.  I may have come off a little too eager and need to learn to cool my jets a bit (still possibly the weirdest thing to learn because wouldn’t people want an employee who is really excited and enthusiastic to work for them????). I also felt the rejection that will come again at some point in my job search, and at least I understand it’s hard but normal to experience it.  Maybe next time I won’t cry (probably not betting on that though).

Thankfully, my sister, Beth, arrived the very next day after I found out I didn’t get the job.  So, the following week and half I spent with her having an amazing time NOT on my computer.  I think I will dedicate a whole blog to her visit and the awesome time we had with each other and our sister Heidi.  Here’s a picture:

So, there’s all my excuses for not writing, but I will be back next week (probably not 5 days like my blog title says…I should have been more realistic with myself!)

Thanks for reading this loooong post!

Love, 

Alanna